booze | × Tredici. [Video / Action for Goldenrod]

[Xanxus is back on the network, looking unamused as usual; however, the outfit he is wearing is completely different from anything he's ever worn before. Today he is donning this kingly outfit minus the shirt, because just look at that thing, it's hideous. So enjoy the view of his scarred and muscular abs. To further add to his oh so manly and kingly image, he's even got a matching staff that he is currently tapping against his free palm idly.]

It has come to my attention that there is a despicable young woman who claims to be the "only ruler of Johto," but I assure you all that what she says is nothing but lies! The one and only ruler of Johto is me, the King of Hearts! There is no one better fit to rule this land than I am! I do not and never will have a queen reigning beside me.

Now, I demand that you filthy peasants offer gifts to honor your new ruler, the true ruler of Johto! Anyone who refuses to do so will lose their head!

That is all. You may go back to your pathetic, miserable lives now.

[And then Xanxus's Dragonite shuts off the feed, who has been giving his trainer the most unsure look throughout this entire thing.]

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[White rabbit is on the scene. Oh god oh god he's hoping he's not late. He gives a low bow before his King. Making sure his eyes are to the floor.]

All hail his majesty, the King of hearts! Your lowly herald has come to service thee.

Crazy costume! But I'm gonna have to fight you for that title!

[ He hasn't put his costume on yet... ]

[Xanxus glares down at Killua.]

You are late! Again! Would it kill you to arrive in a timely manner for once?!

You insolent fool! This isn't a costume, and it most certainly isn't crazy! These are the garbs of true royalty, fit only for a king such as myself!

[He laughs in an arrogant, haughty manner.]

And you? Fight me? Don't be ridiculous! A lowly peasant such as yourself could not possibly defeat me!

[Oh, if only Shiraishi was normal... but he's not, as he's already wearing the Snow White costume he has. So he'll just... go with it.]

The king of hearts? It's a pleasure to meet you, your majesty. [He makes a small curtsey.] Unfortunately I have nothing to offer you yet, but I shall think of something before we possibly one day meet.

[The politeness is great and all, but.... what is wrong with this boy...]

...You are a boy, are you not? Why on Earth are you wearing a dress? You should be wearing pants, and a fine shirt!

[Never mind that Xanxus isn't wearing one, but hey, he's the king. He can be shirtless if he wants to.]

I'm s-so terribly sorry my liege, I was just informing the peasants of your rightful claim on this land.

[He flinches slightly at the word 'kill']

[Hey, have a hot tempered queen to bump into you Xanxus! She's kind of pre-occupied at the moment with a really weird curse that makes her say 'Desu' ALL THE TIME, and she doesn't see you there at first.]

Ah! I say, you should watch where you are going, desu! I could have your head for that, clumsy oaf, desu-!

[This is followed by a pause as she notes that it's the 'King of Hearts'.]

Peasant? Heh... Heh... That's funny.

[And have an equally hot-tempered king glaring at Suiseiseki.]

The one who needs to watch where they are going is you, insolent wretch! And watch how you speak to your king, too! I could have your head for such blatant disrespect!

Hmph... Well, if that's what you were doing, I suppose I can let it slide this time. But if you're ever late again, it's off with your head!

It's not a joke! Cease that at once!

Oh my king, your kindness knows no bounds.

[He's tempted to look up in gratitude but he's not going to push it.]

Is there anything you wish of me, your majesty?

[Oh Goldenrod is so doomed...]

Why you ill mannered mongrel, I should have your head for speaking to my royal self, your Queen, in such a tone, desu!

[This could go back and forth for awhile, surely there are endless reasons for both to have the other's head removed.]

I say, it was also probably you who has had me cursed with this wretched verbal tic, desu!

It's been so long since the One Eyed Dragon's been mistaken as a peasant, I can't help myself.

Are we expected to follow a leader who calls his subjects pathetic and miserable?

[Can you hear the mockery in his voice, Xanxus? HE IS SO ENTERTAINED BY ALL OF THIS. Halloween \8D/]

[Ritz is mercifully free of the ravages of a costume on her sanity.

This is a bad thing for you, Xanxus, because you have a teenager shoving her good hand in her mouth in a very visible effort to not bust a gut laughing. It looks like an uphill battle.]

Somehow, I don't think you'll need to worry about a queen... [And then she just loses it.]

[ Your loyal knight, the Ace, is here. Behind you, like always. ]

Oh, my King. Do you think it would be the best to cut off their heads ♥?

[He thinks about it for a moment.]

Go fetch me something to eat.

It does not matter to me who you are, you will never rule Johto so long as I'm still alive.

[Yes it is.]

You have no authority in this land! I will speak to you in any tone I wish! And why would I waste my precious time casting a curse on you when I have much more important things to do?

[Xanxus fails to see what is so amusing about any of this.]

Yes, you are! Now bow down to me or it's off with your head!

[Oh, now Xanxus is mad.]

What's that supposed to mean?! Cease this laughter at once!

Yes! Off with all of their heads!

If I am be so bold? What will satisfy your royal palette, your highness?

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× Tredici. [Video / Action for Goldenrod]

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[Action] whelp he's turned to Levi orz