[Oh boy, a fourth wall event that Xanxus is actually conscious for! Like many others who have regained lost powers and weapons and whatnot, his Flames of Wrath are now fully functional once more, and his X-Guns and box weapon have mysteriously appeared on his person as well. After having gone almost an entire year without them, he finds it very, very strange. He's happy that they're back, but it's still weird.

On the video feed, Xanxus can be seen playing with his flame, which is completely engulfing his hand and flaring rather violently. He shoots a couple fireballs to make sure that they're really working to their full extent. Standing behind him in the background is a large, white-furred and red-eyed lion with similar flames coming out of its mane and paws. It looks like it could pass for a Pokemon, but it really isn't one at all.

Once Xanxus is completely sure that his flames are working again, he turns his attention to the camera and asks just one simple question.]

What the fuck is going on here?

[Yep. That's all he wanted to say.

Anyone in the Saffron area can either find him in the city messing with his flames some more, or on one of the routes nearby, testing out his guns. He missed these beauties so much. Xanxus hasn't even noticed yet that his roster of Pokémon has changed completely...]

[Xanxus is back on the network, looking unamused as usual; however, the outfit he is wearing is completely different from anything he's ever worn before. Today he is donning this kingly outfit minus the shirt, because just look at that thing, it's hideous. So enjoy the view of his scarred and muscular abs. To further add to his oh so manly and kingly image, he's even got a matching staff that he is currently tapping against his free palm idly.]

It has come to my attention that there is a despicable young woman who claims to be the "only ruler of Johto," but I assure you all that what she says is nothing but lies! The one and only ruler of Johto is me, the King of Hearts! There is no one better fit to rule this land than I am! I do not and never will have a queen reigning beside me.

Now, I demand that you filthy peasants offer gifts to honor your new ruler, the true ruler of Johto! Anyone who refuses to do so will lose their head!

That is all. You may go back to your pathetic, miserable lives now.

[And then Xanxus's Dragonite shuts off the feed, who has been giving his trainer the most unsure look throughout this entire thing.]

Take the goddamn stone.

[Xanxus can be seen holding out a Dawn Stone to an irritated-looking Kirlia, one of the new members of his party. It must really not want to evolve into a Gallade, because every time Xanxus gets closer with that stone, it does a graceful leap out of his range, much to Xanxus's dismay, and glares at him with its hands on its hips.]

Take it, you piece of shit.

[And then the Kirlia uses Double Team, producing many clones of itself and they all twirl around in a taunting manner. Xanxus is pretty pissed off by this point, so he literally throws the Dawn Stone right towards the real Kirlia's head at an incredible speed. Amazingly enough, it manages to teleport out of the way right after the stone leaves his hand. Upon impact, the Dawn Stone completely shatters into hundreds of little fragments on the ground. They actually look quite beautiful, sparkling in the sunlight like that. The Kirlia admires the pretty mess on the ground for a moment before turning back to Xanxus, the irritated expression replaced with one of awe and fear.

The man's bone-chilling glare is still on his face, but it seems less vicious. Xanxus didn't expect at all that the Kirlia would be able to dodge an attack like that so easily, so he's almost proud of it. Although he's still not pleased about it not wanting to take the Dawn Stone, but oh well. He doesn't feel like buying another one and going through this same ordeal. He'll have to settle for a kickass male Gardevoir.]

...Fine. Have it your way.

[He turns around and starts heading back to his Goldenrod home. The Kirlia just stands there staring for another moment, but its expression slowly develops into a pleased one and skips after its trainer.

This scene has been brought to you by Drapion Productions~]

[Well. Xanxus found a rather unexpected gift in his PC just a few moments ago. Unexpected and unwanted. After checking its stats with his Gear, he discovered that this Pokémon used to belong to his now departed subordinate, Belphegor. A good boss would look after his subordinate's Pokémon for him; however, Xanxus is not a good boss. He doesn't want this thing.

The video starts up to show Xanxus with an adorable little Furret on his shoulder, who looks as happy as can be. Too bad she's about to be given away.]

Who wants this piece of shit. It's at level 30.

[That's all the information Xanxus feels like giving at the moment, so you'll have to bother him if you want to know more.]


(( Despite what this looks like, no, this is not a free giveaway, haha. If you really want this Furret, you'll have to bribe Xanxus with money and/or awesome Pokémon~ He's not that generous. First person to give him a satisfactory offer gets it. If you're not in Goldenrod, he can have his Noctowl send the Furret over to you and you can just give her the payment. |Db She won't leave you alone until she gets it, so don't even think about trying to rip him off.

You can find more detailed information on the Furret here~ Just scroll down to his box.

The Furret has been claimed by Tohru Honda! ))

[Well, Xanxus has finally recovered (mostly) and is out of the Pokémon Center now, so today he's in the Goldenrod Department Store! Anyone who has seen Xanxus before should notice that he's no longer been wearing that business suit he's had on ever since he got here; he's now wearing something much more casual and suitable for this random heat wave. Just a simple dark purple, collared t-shirt with khaki shorts that go down to his knees. And shiny new sneakers. Yep, he just bought this outfit today, and he has a few more in the bags on his arm. As well as his icky, dirty suit.

Now, it seems he's looking at swimming trunks. As he picks up a pair to check what size it is, a cackle can be heard from behind the camera. Without even looking, Xanxus says:]

Turn that damn thing off.

Geeeengar~

[YOU'RE NO FUUUN, MASTER. But whatever, she'll listen. The feed is shutting off now.]


(( Anyone else who's in the Department Store is free to run into him~ ))

[So. While Xanxus was training his Pokémon today, a certain Pokémon of his... randomly evolved. The Pokédex never said that this Pokémon could evolve again. What the fuck is happening? Camera's going over to this mysterious Pokémon now for everyone else to see.



He's not complaining, of course, but this is just really weird.]

What the fuck is this? It isn't even in the fucking Pokédex.

[Observant people may also notice that Xanxus is playing with his recently acquired Hive Badge in his other hand.]

[The camera shows Xanxus standing outside the Violet City Gym, who is broadcasting to you lovely people today to do the obligatory showing off of shiny new badges!]



Finally got this stupid badge. Fran, hurry the fuck up so we can leave.

[Beside Xanxus appears to be an impatient Piloswine, who is sniffing his trainer's briefcase as if he smells food in there. Asshole, he just won your badge for you, give him food now. 8| The Piloswine pushes against the briefcase as a hint to Xanxus, but he just holds it away from him.]

...I need a new name for this guy, too.

[After his Pokémon's performance in today's battle, Xanxus feels that his Piloswine is finally ready to move up from the "Trash" nickname now. But he has no idea what to call this one.

And that's all he has to say, so he's going to disconnect now. Xanxus is very blunt and to the point today.]

[The video feed suddenly turns on to reveal an egg sitting on a bed next to a Noctowl, who is staring at it with morbid curiosity as the shell begins to crack and twitch slightly. Soon enough, a baby Charmander emerges from the egg!]



[But the first thing he sees isn't the Noctowl beside him. He's looking in the direction of the bed next to him. The camera pans over to show the viewers what exactly is on that bed; it's a sleeping Xanxus, sprawled out on the bed and fully dressed in his suit. Even his shoes are on. Someone was tired when they got home from work.]

Char! Char!

[The ecstatic little Charmander seems to be calling out to him and edging closer to the bed, but the two beds are too far apart for him to jump across, and it's too high up for him to jump down. Xanxus isn't waking up, either. Cue sad face and teary eyes. He wants his Mama!

There's a glint in the Noctowl's eyes, and she gives a couple hoots to get the Charmander's attention before she hovers over him and grabs his tiny little arms with her talons and lifts the baby Fire Pokémon, flying over until they're hovering about two feet above Xanxus's sleeping form. The Noctowl lets go and the Charmander lands right on the man's chest, the impact being hard enough to awaken him. He sees the little Pokémon through half lidded eyes and immediately thinks what the fuck is this. Then Xanxus notices his Noctowl descending onto the bed and cocking her head in the direction of the other bed. What used to be a whole egg sitting on that bed is now a little pile of broken shells.

Whoa, everything makes sense now.

Xanxus lifts up the Charmander and slowly sits himself up, taking a good look at the Pokémon. He can feel the heat radiating from the flame on his tail, and he has to admit that the Charmander is... kinda sorta cute.]

Chaaaar!

[The Charmander extends his tiny hands toward Xanxus and looks up at him with an adoring smile, while Xanxus's expression is pretty much a tired lineface. Why the fuck is this thing so happy? But whatever, he holds the Charmander closer and awkwardly pats his head. Charmander seems to be enjoying it, though.

Then it occurs to Xanxus; since he knows what this thing looks like now, he can go look it up on his Pokédex and take a look at his evolved forms, as well. He starts to get up, still holding the Charmander in his arms, but then he looks straight into the camera and stops. And now he's scowling.]

Turn that fucking thing off.

[The camera flips around to show who's been filming this whole scene like a pro; Geodude! The rock Pokémon snickers and seems pretty fucking amused as he finally ends the feed.]

[Oh hey there, people of Johto. Have a pleasant shot of an angry man in a suit, sitting on a bed while his Magikarp flops around on the floor nearby.]

Karp... karp... karp...

[It's pretty obvious that the poor thing is suffering. Further annoyed by the incessant "karp"ing, Xanxus gives the fish a swift kick, which sends it flying into the wall. The Magikarp lands on the ground with a thud and finally shuts up.

With that taken care of, Xanxus shifts his gaze back to the screen.]

Where the fuck are my weapons.